Sometimes I wake up in a God-awful mood for no specific reason, which was the case the other morning when "Dr. Bob" picked me up in his yellow chariot. Early 60's probably, frizzy white ponytail, and full of positive energy. (but not the manicky 'morning person' type that can make you go from feeling crabby to feeling stabby) He and I had a lively 10-minute chat on my way to work, and I hopped out of the cab with a totally refreshed attitude. I tipped him $2 more than I would have otherwise. I noticed that he did not drive off until I was entering the building. I don't think my extra $2 bought me that; I think that's just how Dr. Bob rolls (literally).
Yesterday, I needed to run to the store, and I was delighted to hear a familiar voice as I descended the stairwell. Doc was standing outside his cab on the phone with a buddy, whom he let go as I hopped in. "I remember you!" - "Heh, do you? I recall picking you up from this location the other morning...hope I was behaving that day."
We joked and commiserated over car issues as I shared about mine, and he told me his early-morning saga of getting hit by deer several hour earlier. He and I mused over the odd physics/probability at play with the difference it would have made had he gone 1mph faster (deer would've hit his car door- and therefore him) versus 1mph slower (likely no collision at all). Poor Bob is facing a $1000 deductible. He made light of it, pointing out that his "combat medals" are his arms, legs, and head all still intact.
I gave him $30 on an $11.50 ticket- the $20 wrapped inside the $10- hoping to duck out of the car before he saw it was more than 100% tip. "It's not a lot, but I know you've got car expenses too, so here's a bundle more than I owe ya." -He beat me. - "HEY, THANKS!" Again, he watched for my safety before driving off.
That's NOT much- sure as hell isn't covering his deductible. But my inner Fear still said, "whyyy did you do that? You don't know how you're gonna pay your rent this month!!"
Cuz I don't want to be the Dead Sea.
She gets her name from the fact that nothing flows out of her. No matter how much fresh water the Sea receives, it will stagnate because there's no outlet, It's still. -If nothing flows out of my hands, then whatever I receive will also "rot." (LOL, there is a lot flowing out of my hands toward bills and such- as with most of us- but I believe that, if I 'steward' the money available to me with careful generosity....Shift happens. It's not mine, anyway. It's just a resource.)
Now, to quote our friend Barry: Let me be clear, a-and, don't get it twisted. This is NOT, in my mind, a binary construct. I don't "give money to get money." That, I believe, is the main fallacy which drives people away from religious tithing. The "Shift" of my understanding (ha) is more nuanced than that, in ways I can't predict or control. But I've seen it happen in my life too many times to deny the alchemy.
Later in the evening, I spoke with my best friend, who knows of my car woes- and who happens to have a car-savvy husband. She put him on the phone and had me describe the Monte's behaviour. He suggested posting to Craigslist to solicit a mobile mechanic who might be willing to work off-the-clock. Said his neighbor did that and had no problems. These guys live in the hills of 360. His expendable income is larger than my whole paycheck. They get grass-fed bison and organic produce delivered to their home. That is to say, he's got no need or reason to "back-alley" any type of service he needs just to save a dime. That, with his knowledge of cars, gave me faith in his suggestion.
-SWEET! Maybe I'll save a bit on labor in addition to skipping the tow fee! That itself is pretty cool. But Shift wasn't done with me yet.
Got a second call a couple hours later. "Hey, soooo, You were already gonna house-sit for us next month, and we were gonna pay you nicely for it....Why don't we just take care of your car for you?"
Tears. Even again, as I type. As I said- it's not binary. I don't believe my healthy cab tip "made" them do that. In fact, maybe this, that, and the other would all just happen anyway, and nothing is interconnected, and I would do well to brush up on my Chaos Theory rather than spouting hope-filled nonsense.
No thanks. Gratitude seems to serve me better. And...I don't wanna be the Dead Sea.
